The Grief of Abandoning Your Inner Knowing

🌹 The Grief of Abandoning Your Inner Knowing

There is a grief that rarely gets named.
It doesn’t come from losing someone else.
It comes from losing yourself slowly, subtly, over time.

It’s the grief of abandoning your own knowing.

It happens quietly.
You stop checking in with your body before making decisions.
You look outside yourself for answers that once lived within.
You feel something is off… but you talk yourself out of it.

It's not because you don’t care.
At some point, trusting yourself became unsafe.

Maybe you were dismissed.
Maybe you were corrected.
Maybe your intuition didn’t fit the world you were in.

So you adapted.

You learned to doubt first and feel later.
You learned to explain instead of sense.
You learned to wait for permission.

It worked in the sense that it kept you connected, acceptable, surviving.

However, something else quietly faded.

The ease of inner trust.
The intimacy with your own truth.
The simplicity of knowing without justification.

Years later, this loss shows up as confusion.
As hesitation.
As a feeling that you’re always one step removed from clarity.

Yet beneath it all… is grief.

Grief for the version of you who once trusted herself without apology.
Grief for the decisions you made while disconnected from your own compass.
Grief for the magic that went dormant while you learned to fit.

This grief is not something to rush through.
It is part of remembering.

Because your intuition doesn’t disappear when it’s ignored.
It waits.

It waits for safety.
It waits for slowness.
It waits for you to come back with tenderness instead of demand.

But here’s where everything begins to shift...

You can’t rebuild self-trust by continuing to override yourself in subtle ways.

Not in the small decisions.
Not in the moments where something feels off… and you explain it away.
Not in the quiet pauses where your body speaks… and you choose not to listen.

This is where most people stay stuck.

Not because they don’t have intuition but because no one ever showed them how to feel safe trusting it again.

So they hover at the edge of their own knowing…
close enough to sense it,
but not anchored enough to live by it.

And over time, that distance becomes its own kind of suffering.

Not loud.
But constant.

A quiet disconnection from yourself.

And if you’re recognizing yourself here,
that’s not a coincidence.

That’s the part of you that never stopped knowing…
asking to be heard again.

Call to Action

My Mentor’s request is…

That you notice where you’re still abandoning yourself,
not in the big, dramatic ways…
but in the quiet, almost invisible ones.

The moments where you already know…
and still hesitate.
Still seek permission.
Still choose what feels familiar over what feels true.

And before your next decision, no matter how small,
that you pause.

Not to overthink.
Not to get it “right.”

But to listen.

To begin rebuilding trust in the only way it’s ever created...
through small, honest moments of choosing yourself.

And if you feel how hard that still is…
if you notice the gap between hearing your inner voice and actually following it...

That’s the work.

Not fixing yourself.
Not becoming someone new.

But learning how to feel safe in your own knowing again.

You don’t have to do that alone.

Send me the word “KNOWING”…
and we’ll begin there.

Because your clarity isn’t missing.

It’s waiting for you to trust it.

Until next time…
come back to yourself gently, honestly, and without rushing the return.