One of the best testimonials I ever received was to hear, “You gave me back to me!” What an honor it is to be able to hold the space and guide someone gently back to who they truly are! It is a privilege I do not take lightly. Most of the women who come to me are grieving a loss which includes the loss of who they thought they were or who they believed they should have been. And with this lack of clarity around knowing and loving of self, there is confusion in other areas of life because we all know and understand that what we experience is a direct reflection of what we are vibrating - as within, so without.
This journey called life is really the hero's journey of self. You are remembering who you truly are and learning that it is okay to love YOU! We are brought up to believe that it is narcissistic to love ourselves but that is so untrue! When you love yourself, you take care of yourself very well so that your Inner Well is filled. When your Inner Well is filled, you are better equipped to give to others. You cannot give from an empty cup. Self Love is understanding the need to fill your own cup. It is rooted in LOVE.
Narcissism, on the other hand, is Ego driven. It is putting yourself first at the expense of those you care about. It is rooted in FEAR: a fear that “I have to love me because no one else will” - among many others.
True Self Love is NOT Narcissism. A Course in Miracles teaches that there really is only 2 emotions: Fear and Love. Self Love is the conscious choice for LOVE. Before you can BE LOVE in the world, you need to accept that you ARE LOVE. Now, we are not talking about romantic love here, although that is a face of Love. The type of Love I am speaking to is Unconditional Love.
Self Love is all about loving the WHOLE of YOU! The pretty parts. The not so pretty parts. The downright ugly parts. It's letting go of the Inner Critic(Ego) who so easily points out all your flaws and foibles and paying more attention to your Inner Goddess who speaks to you through the voice of Love. Are you willing to release the conditions you have set to self love?
“I will love myself when I lose the weight.”
“I will love myself when I get that higher paying job!”
“I will love myself when I....”
You get the idea. It's time to let go of those self imposed conditions and love yourself NOW!
Remember what I said earlier – as within, so without. If you don't love yourself enough to believe you are worthy and deserving of what you desire, what is the energetic signal you are emitting?
The good news is that YOU have the POWER to change your signal! You can start loving yourself right now! Let's begin today, this very moment, by taking in a deep breath together. Allow your awareness to drop into your heart space. Place your hand on your heart if you feel so led.
Feel the warmth of love collecting in your heart. Feel/See that energy of love growing larger and brighter – filling your entire heart space – feel/see it overflowing and filling your entire body. Feel/see it welling up in your eyes.
Take yourself to the nearest mirror and gaze at your reflection with the Eyes of Love. See yourself as Love sees you. You are the Divine in physical expression. She expresses through you AS YOU! The Divine is LOVE. You ARE LOVE! THAT is WHO YOU TRULY ARE! If God/Spirit/Source/All That Is (or whatever language speaks to you) is LOVE and you are an expression of that Divinity, then you, too are LOVE.
Look deep into those eyes of yours and state:
“I love and approve of myself just as I am.”
Say it out loud as many times as you need until you feel complete. Work with this practice every day. You will fall unapologetically in love with you as you begin to silence that Inner Critic.
Call to Action
My mentor's request is to work with this practice. Journal your experience. Notice what comes up for you and be willing to lean into the discomfort you may experience. There is great medicine in this practice. As always, I would love to hear what this holds for you so feel free to reach out to me and share your experience so I may hold the space and witness you!
Until Next Time...